True Story - no poker content

Lola told me the funniest (although morbid) story last night, and I just couldn’t find a better place to share it then right here in this space.

So a "friend of a friend" of Lola’s was asked to house sit for a couple of good family friends while they were on vacation. The girl (let’s call her BN) accepted the offer as she had done before, however this time there was a catch.

The owners of the house were concerned for their aging dog. In fact, they were certain that it would pass away while they were on vacation (kinda selfish if you ask me). This concerned BN as she didn’t really want to have to deal with a dead dog, but decided that she would go ahead with the agreement anyway and hope that the dog did not pass away under her care.

She was wrong. The dog died that week.

BN didn’t really have an action plan as she had hoped all along that the dog would survive the next two weeks and the duties of dealing with the deceased dog would then be taken over by the owner.

She had to think fast… although it is my estimation that she acted a little too fast and did not think this through...

What happen next is what really surprised me the most.

She decided (in all her wisdom) that because she had no car, that she would need to figure out another way to get the dog to the Vet for cremation. This left her with only one logical choice: take the bus.

Yes, that’s right. She took the bus.

She didn’t call the SPCA, she didn’t call a cab and she surely did not call a friend. Now I am not sure if this was to avoid embarrassment or what, but if you ask me, taking the bus would be the last option on my list… but I digress.

BN wisely decides to go into the owner’s closet and pull out one of those suit cases with wheels on it. It was one of those soft sided rolling types that looks like a duffle bag. She puts the 50-60 pound deceased dog into the suit case and made her way to the bus stop. Wheeling it to the stop was easy; getting it on the bus is where the story takes a turn that I (and probably you) was not expecting.

A man is at the same stop and sees that she is struggling to get the suit case onto the bus. He offers to help and they end up sitting beside each other during the ride. They have small talk and the guy finally asks BN why the suit case is so heavy? What could she possibly have in there that would make it weigh so much?

She tried to shrug it off and ignore the question but eventually answered with: “Oh it’s my school stuff. You know, lots of books, clothing, my laptop etc.” quickly trying to change the subject to avoid him from truly finding out that there is actually a dead dog in there…

He seems to accept the answer and they continue chatting until her stop (the Vet) comes up and it is time to get off. Obviously she struggles to get the bag off, and it just so happens that the guy is getting off at the same stop as her (coincidence right?) and offers to help her with her bag again and get her stuff off quickly and safely.

They both get off the bus and she says her goodbyes and thanks the man for his help. He in turn, says no problem and they turn in opposite directions to go on their way. Her with the dead dog in the suit case, and him feeling like he did a good deed… or so you would think...

When all of the sudden the man says “oh and by the way…”

BN turns around looking for him to complete his sentence when out of no where…

HE PUNCHES HER SQUARE IN THE NOSE AND KNOCKS HER OUT.

(insert laughs here)

She wakes up and realizes what has just happened. She got scammed and he was planning all along to steal her bag!

When she woke up, the suit case was gone…

She now sports a lovely broken nose (BN) and a swollen face. I am not sure if she lost her purse, but I would assume so, who knows.



Now I’d love to see the look on this crook’s face when he gets home expecting to see a laptop and a bunch of other random crap and it turns out it is a dog’s corpse…

The only one I feel sorry for is the dog. No word on whether the dog was eventually found. I just hope it’s not in some dumpster. Fucking thief serves him right. Poor Doggie. Very sad.

True story.