In about 5 hours people will be arriving in their costumes with booze in hand. Various appies will be spread and my newly purchased smoke machine will be in full effect. I had to google how to make "fog juice" because the stupid thing didn't come with any. The first seach I picked up had a you tube video on exactly how to make it and what to buy. I tested it last night and it worked perfectly.
I swear we have about 3 times more Halloween stuff than we do Christmas gear. Masks, wigs, makeup, costumes, lighting, fake tombstones and witches, black lights, blue lights, big spiders, little spiders, cob webs, big webs, severed arms, chains, plastic pumpkins, spider goblets, pumpkin goblets, bloody feet, more cob webs (we never seem to throw them out, but always buy more each year!) and more spiders.
My costume this year pretty much sucks. It's a throw together using various items listed above to put together an "80's rocker dude." It's pretty weak, but since we are throwing this scary bash I figured I would be spending my time and money on getting the house ready. And we did. Not much left to do, but I figure I'll sneak out of work early to get the little things done like picking up ice, vacuuming the house etc.
Of course, having the party at home means I can change my costume numerous times. I plan on changing it at least once, maybe twice throughout the night. It's fun to see people's reaction when this guy comes out of nowhere and no one can tell who he is because he is wearing a mask and some different clothes. Stupid guests... get it together.
My best costume of late was a few years back when I was Mike Weir. The only part that made it so funny was the golf ball that was stuck in my forehead. I cut one in half and used some fake skin and blood, attached it and it turned out really well. It was a Nike golf ball with the name "Tiger" written on it. Green jacket, black pants and shirt and I was done.
I hope you all have a great Halloween. Play safe.
31.10.08
28.10.08
Lost and now found
Before I get into the details that support the title of this post let me just say I am not that impressed with the bloggers and their whinning right now.
That's right, whinning. There are at least 5 or 6 blogs that I read this morning and all of them had the same theme about the World Series... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Suck it up! You have a strangle hold on the series if you are a Philly fan and should be jumping for joy that you are only 3 innings away from your second championship ever. Seems like a time to be excited if you ask me. Quit analyzing what happened last night and just be glad you weren't losing when they called it instead. Babies.
I think I am feeling what Astin had to say about it. It would be great to see Tampa come back purely for the entainment alone (not a hatter, I just love good drama). I can't imagine the tears that will be shed if the Phillies some how manage to screw this up and lose... boo hoo. If Tampa wins tonight, I am sure all of Philly will be collectively trying to figure out the latest way to avoid a meltdown in game 6 (dare I say game 7?). GLGLGL.
----
So I played some live poker, as I had mentioned in my last post, over at the FCPC with Fuel and Simon. It was a $40 plus $10 bounty tournament with 15 players.
I went out 14th on the following hand:
I picked up pocket 10's (yes, here we go again) in MP and raise it to 1200 (3x) and get one caller - the big stack out of the small blind.
The flop comes Qc-10c-5h. SB checks and I bet out 1500.
SB min raises me! WTF. I call. The turn is the Ac. I figure him for something like a Q and a good kicker, maybe ever AQo.
He bets 6,000.
I have 16,000 behind so I can't exactly call. It's either fold or push time and I had not won a single hand in the 90 minutes we had been playing (not that it should matter right!).
I push for 10K more, he grumbles and then finally calls thinking I might have already hit my flush and he turns over QQ. I never even considered QQ there. I am done. Plus I have to fork over another $5 to Fuel for a last longer bet. Fawkin' sweet.
----
Lola called me that night at about 2am from the club she was at for a gf's bday party. She had lost her purse... with our camera in it... along with her cell phone, ID and bank card (no visa thankfully). As I'm still trying to wake up, she is all upset and super drunk and borderline crying (gee I wonder why she lost it?). Anyway she had half the bar looking for it at 1am and seemed to remember last seeing it before she went to the bathroom.
"Some skank probably kept it." she stated (can you tell she was a bit angry?)
So I tell her to go back in the morning (she had a hotel room with some gf's of hers) and sure enough the place is closed. She calls and leaves messages and no one calls her back.
Finally, she decides to head down there yesterday evening to see if it somehow got turned in or overlooked in the search and sure enough the bouncer comes out from the back and hands her the purse fully intact, with nothing missing! What a luckbox, gimme some of that karma action baby!
Good things happen to good people. Lola finally got paid back a little. Phew.
That's right, whinning. There are at least 5 or 6 blogs that I read this morning and all of them had the same theme about the World Series... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Suck it up! You have a strangle hold on the series if you are a Philly fan and should be jumping for joy that you are only 3 innings away from your second championship ever. Seems like a time to be excited if you ask me. Quit analyzing what happened last night and just be glad you weren't losing when they called it instead. Babies.
I think I am feeling what Astin had to say about it. It would be great to see Tampa come back purely for the entainment alone (not a hatter, I just love good drama). I can't imagine the tears that will be shed if the Phillies some how manage to screw this up and lose... boo hoo. If Tampa wins tonight, I am sure all of Philly will be collectively trying to figure out the latest way to avoid a meltdown in game 6 (dare I say game 7?). GLGLGL.
----
So I played some live poker, as I had mentioned in my last post, over at the FCPC with Fuel and Simon. It was a $40 plus $10 bounty tournament with 15 players.
I went out 14th on the following hand:
I picked up pocket 10's (yes, here we go again) in MP and raise it to 1200 (3x) and get one caller - the big stack out of the small blind.
The flop comes Qc-10c-5h. SB checks and I bet out 1500.
SB min raises me! WTF. I call. The turn is the Ac. I figure him for something like a Q and a good kicker, maybe ever AQo.
He bets 6,000.
I have 16,000 behind so I can't exactly call. It's either fold or push time and I had not won a single hand in the 90 minutes we had been playing (not that it should matter right!).
I push for 10K more, he grumbles and then finally calls thinking I might have already hit my flush and he turns over QQ. I never even considered QQ there. I am done. Plus I have to fork over another $5 to Fuel for a last longer bet. Fawkin' sweet.
----
Lola called me that night at about 2am from the club she was at for a gf's bday party. She had lost her purse... with our camera in it... along with her cell phone, ID and bank card (no visa thankfully). As I'm still trying to wake up, she is all upset and super drunk and borderline crying (gee I wonder why she lost it?). Anyway she had half the bar looking for it at 1am and seemed to remember last seeing it before she went to the bathroom.
"Some skank probably kept it." she stated (can you tell she was a bit angry?)
So I tell her to go back in the morning (she had a hotel room with some gf's of hers) and sure enough the place is closed. She calls and leaves messages and no one calls her back.
Finally, she decides to head down there yesterday evening to see if it somehow got turned in or overlooked in the search and sure enough the bouncer comes out from the back and hands her the purse fully intact, with nothing missing! What a luckbox, gimme some of that karma action baby!
Good things happen to good people. Lola finally got paid back a little. Phew.
24.10.08
Rebuy Madness and then some
Well that was interesting. Something like 4,417 rebuys is a lot for a 99 person tournament... I had a blast when it first started, then handed over the laptop to my sister and another couple of buddies. They had a blast, but couldn't really grasp why everyone was pushing with every single hand.
I had to laugh at some of the folders. I mean why were you people folding after your stack grew and there was still 45 minutes left in the rebuy period? No heart I tell ya. My stack got to a high of about 70K but we saw that crash and burn over the next 2-3 hands. Meanwhile there were others with over 150K in about 15-20 minutes.
It really is a great indicator of who the luckboxes really are. ScottMc, Pvanharibo to name a couple...
Lucko was at my table and couldn't catch anything, he was at the 2,000 chip mark for almost the entire time I was there.
Yes that's right, I didn't make it to the end of the first hour.
Stupid internet.
I should have known better when I latched onto some random unsecured wireless in the area (I wasn't at home) but decided against better judgement and took the risk. I even had a 100 foot cable that I decided not to hook up.
Stupid me.
So yeah anyway we are all in for the 20th time in a row and then poof - disconnected. Well by the time I get it back up and running we got the boot... no more rebuys for you! Next!!!
Either way it was a total blast, I wasn't planning on grinding it out until the end anyway. Who in their right mind would want to play that deep and that long for hours and hours just to win $136 or whatever it turned out to be. I'm not even sure who won because when I logged in three hours later to see who won... there were still 18 people left and the big stack had over 500K with blinds of 1/2K.
Maybe they are still playing this morning?
I'm off to play in a bounty tournament tonight. Live poker baby! Real chips!
Golf this Sunday, might be my last fair weather round of the year. Gotta make some of my money back. It's Super Snowman Sunday!
Have a good one.
I had to laugh at some of the folders. I mean why were you people folding after your stack grew and there was still 45 minutes left in the rebuy period? No heart I tell ya. My stack got to a high of about 70K but we saw that crash and burn over the next 2-3 hands. Meanwhile there were others with over 150K in about 15-20 minutes.
It really is a great indicator of who the luckboxes really are. ScottMc, Pvanharibo to name a couple...
Lucko was at my table and couldn't catch anything, he was at the 2,000 chip mark for almost the entire time I was there.
Yes that's right, I didn't make it to the end of the first hour.
Stupid internet.
I should have known better when I latched onto some random unsecured wireless in the area (I wasn't at home) but decided against better judgement and took the risk. I even had a 100 foot cable that I decided not to hook up.
Stupid me.
So yeah anyway we are all in for the 20th time in a row and then poof - disconnected. Well by the time I get it back up and running we got the boot... no more rebuys for you! Next!!!
Either way it was a total blast, I wasn't planning on grinding it out until the end anyway. Who in their right mind would want to play that deep and that long for hours and hours just to win $136 or whatever it turned out to be. I'm not even sure who won because when I logged in three hours later to see who won... there were still 18 people left and the big stack had over 500K with blinds of 1/2K.
Maybe they are still playing this morning?
I'm off to play in a bounty tournament tonight. Live poker baby! Real chips!
Golf this Sunday, might be my last fair weather round of the year. Gotta make some of my money back. It's Super Snowman Sunday!
Have a good one.
23.10.08
Pocket Tens live blog
Pocket tens early on in the Mookie and I decided to play them like aces. Not smart. No patience. I even told myself before it started that I would play tight and focused. Mookie had pocket queens and gave me the warning signs early on, I just didn't listen.
As I type, I am still in the Dookie, with 5 to play. Lightning, Rambler, Numblowme and DoubleDave are left.
Speaking of Numblowme, I'm already registered for his tourney tomorrow... are you? It's on Survivor Thursday night... and of course I am having some grub with some close friends as usual. World Series playoffs are the focus, but I'll be letting various people push every hand for me for the first hour... can't wait.
Pushfest #1 - everyone went out on the first hand except Drizz. That might be a first actually... and Drizz winning, well that's a first too. Congrats, I ship it as soon as I confirm your Full Tilt name.
BDR radio is pretty classic. Apparantly Joanada finds BuddyDank hot...
Joanada has done a lot of stuff...
Pushfest #2 - I get down to the final three pooshers after doubling up once. Then lose and have 1 chip left. I win the next hand and get 6 chips total. Finally go out on the next hand.
What is with everyone changing domains, deleting blogs and upgrading their shit?
I'm all about small changes.
I just won the Dookie in a marathon heads up match against DoubleDave.
Good night now.
As I type, I am still in the Dookie, with 5 to play. Lightning, Rambler, Numblowme and DoubleDave are left.
Speaking of Numblowme, I'm already registered for his tourney tomorrow... are you? It's on Survivor Thursday night... and of course I am having some grub with some close friends as usual. World Series playoffs are the focus, but I'll be letting various people push every hand for me for the first hour... can't wait.
Pushfest #1 - everyone went out on the first hand except Drizz. That might be a first actually... and Drizz winning, well that's a first too. Congrats, I ship it as soon as I confirm your Full Tilt name.
BDR radio is pretty classic. Apparantly Joanada finds BuddyDank hot...
Joanada has done a lot of stuff...
Pushfest #2 - I get down to the final three pooshers after doubling up once. Then lose and have 1 chip left. I win the next hand and get 6 chips total. Finally go out on the next hand.
What is with everyone changing domains, deleting blogs and upgrading their shit?
I'm all about small changes.
I just won the Dookie in a marathon heads up match against DoubleDave.
Good night now.
19.10.08
SnG win
This helps the bankroll...
Decided to play in this while watching the stinkin' Leafs take on the Penguins, but really I'm just waiting for Tampa to take down Boston...
TV is saying "technical difficulties" so instead I am forced to watch the Hooters magazine swimsuit competition while they resolve...
I hope everyone is winning their share. Have a good one.
16.10.08
DQAB
Dems Quad Aces Bitches!
I gave one of those Matrix tournaments a try. Since it was my first attempt, and I don't usually multi-table, let alone quad table... I opted for the $6 version. I have to say it was a bit of a challenge trying to fit all four tables on my laptop along with a Dookie. Not much to report really. I finished third in two of the tables, but I just kept having to click the "I'm back" button on various tables. I either need to get a better set up, or forget the whole quad tabling idea all together.
I played golf on the weekend, actually it was a tournament called the snowman. Finished 2 over and nothing to show for it. Next Sunday should be a better showing.
I'm playing in the LeTune challenge tomorrow. Free rolls rule.
Fantasy football & hockey are in full effect, and I'm doing ok in most of my leagues. I'm probably in too many, but whatever it keeps me out of trouble.
Blogger gathering is just around the corner, less than two months away. Anyone else still waiting to book their trip like me? It sucks that I'll be missing my company Christmas party, but I'm sure I will get over it quickly.
Is anyone interested in playing golf? I'm counting on this guy to help me organize it, except... he's only 20% sure he'll even be going! Everyone needs to put the pressure on him and make sure he goes... screw work! If he's out, then I'm not sure this golf tournament/outting will get off the ground... especially with this group of degenerate drunks.
Regardless, I think I'll bring my sticks and see if I can sneak in a round with Don or CK or whoever. Let mek now what you think oh loyal readers of mine.
Later.
I gave one of those Matrix tournaments a try. Since it was my first attempt, and I don't usually multi-table, let alone quad table... I opted for the $6 version. I have to say it was a bit of a challenge trying to fit all four tables on my laptop along with a Dookie. Not much to report really. I finished third in two of the tables, but I just kept having to click the "I'm back" button on various tables. I either need to get a better set up, or forget the whole quad tabling idea all together.
I played golf on the weekend, actually it was a tournament called the snowman. Finished 2 over and nothing to show for it. Next Sunday should be a better showing.
I'm playing in the LeTune challenge tomorrow. Free rolls rule.
Fantasy football & hockey are in full effect, and I'm doing ok in most of my leagues. I'm probably in too many, but whatever it keeps me out of trouble.
Blogger gathering is just around the corner, less than two months away. Anyone else still waiting to book their trip like me? It sucks that I'll be missing my company Christmas party, but I'm sure I will get over it quickly.
Is anyone interested in playing golf? I'm counting on this guy to help me organize it, except... he's only 20% sure he'll even be going! Everyone needs to put the pressure on him and make sure he goes... screw work! If he's out, then I'm not sure this golf tournament/outting will get off the ground... especially with this group of degenerate drunks.
Regardless, I think I'll bring my sticks and see if I can sneak in a round with Don or CK or whoever. Let mek now what you think oh loyal readers of mine.
Later.
12.10.08
Hammer
I was catching up on a couple more episodes of the WSOP08 and Lola asked me a question as the second show was ending...
It went something like: "What's that hand called when it's 72? Hammer? Why would you play that?"
Odd, somewhat, out of nowhere type of question really, because the hammer didn't appear in any part of the show while she was watching it with me... well sort of watching it as she put together a little table we purchased today...
So I responded "Ummmmm, that's a good question actually. It's the worst hand in poker*, not sure why people play it... Oh, and it's called "THE hammer" not just "hammer""
we laughed.
Times like those remind of why I enjoy poker so much. I'm thankful for being able to play so freely, in whatever setting I so choose. Anytime.
I played a bit of cash last night. 2 tabled it after about 6 beers and some great rib roast with my closest buds. A couple of them watched as I donked off at oen table and played well at another. Netted a few bucks and had some laughs.
I might play a bit more after tonight's Canucks game. If you're not watching the NHL, you should be. It's fast paced, physical and mental all in one.
*some argue not true
It went something like: "What's that hand called when it's 72? Hammer? Why would you play that?"
Odd, somewhat, out of nowhere type of question really, because the hammer didn't appear in any part of the show while she was watching it with me... well sort of watching it as she put together a little table we purchased today...
So I responded "Ummmmm, that's a good question actually. It's the worst hand in poker*, not sure why people play it... Oh, and it's called "THE hammer" not just "hammer""
we laughed.
Times like those remind of why I enjoy poker so much. I'm thankful for being able to play so freely, in whatever setting I so choose. Anytime.
I played a bit of cash last night. 2 tabled it after about 6 beers and some great rib roast with my closest buds. A couple of them watched as I donked off at oen table and played well at another. Netted a few bucks and had some laughs.
I might play a bit more after tonight's Canucks game. If you're not watching the NHL, you should be. It's fast paced, physical and mental all in one.
*some argue not true
10.10.08
Titty Nipple
I remember reading, I think it was Loretta's blog, about the third episode of the WSOP main event and how this one guy who was sponsored by Moneymaker was talking about his life threatening accident. He talked about the burns he suffered and how this one burn went from his "right titty nipple" down to his knee. Something like that.
Anyway, if you haven't seen it, it is pretty funny. I was finally able to watch a couple of episodes and so far I am liking it. I wasn't sure how I would feel, but they have had some pretty good coverage so far.
Watching Ivy make a guy fold trip kings was pretty nuts. Seeing Hellmuth arrive late with his entourage was totally dumb and pointless. Watching the Mouth and the rest of the pros has been entertaining for the most part.
I still did not see Iggy though... I'm not even sure what episodes he is supposed to be on... anyone? Was he really there?
10 cent rebuy in a couple of weeks should be pretty fun... hopefully I can make it.
The Canucks got off to a kick ass start, winning their season opener last night 6-zip against Calgary.
Suckers.
only 97 more wins straight for the perfect season!!
Have a good weekend degen's.
Anyway, if you haven't seen it, it is pretty funny. I was finally able to watch a couple of episodes and so far I am liking it. I wasn't sure how I would feel, but they have had some pretty good coverage so far.
Watching Ivy make a guy fold trip kings was pretty nuts. Seeing Hellmuth arrive late with his entourage was totally dumb and pointless. Watching the Mouth and the rest of the pros has been entertaining for the most part.
I still did not see Iggy though... I'm not even sure what episodes he is supposed to be on... anyone? Was he really there?
10 cent rebuy in a couple of weeks should be pretty fun... hopefully I can make it.
The Canucks got off to a kick ass start, winning their season opener last night 6-zip against Calgary.
Suckers.
only 97 more wins straight for the perfect season!!
Have a good weekend degen's.
3.10.08
Hockey Pools Prep & Canadiana Hockey Brilliance...
I am in total hockey pool prep. mode right now. I have one draft pool tonight, and another tomorrow morning. Crazy. 24 hours of pools basically.
I love hockey, I love this time of year for all sports, but when hockey kicks off next week things will begin to get a bit crazy for my sports watching world. I signed up for Dave's hockey pool as well. I auto drafted because I couldn't attend last night.
The Canucks are undefeated in the preseason (6-0). If they win the next 99 straight games they will have achieved the unheard of... THE PERFECT SEASON...
yeah right eh...
Anyway, for all you hockey players out there... I am sure you can relate to some of these:
Some pure Canadiana hockey brilliance…
It's a well-known fact that there are only two seasons in Canada: summer and hockey.
According to long-standing tradition, the former starts with the hoisting of the Stanley Cup, as fans in an American city celebrate.The latter officially kicks off after Labour Day weekend. In fact, there are hundreds, possibly thousands, of managers across Canada who will spend the long weekend making personnel decisions in time for the September dawn of a new season. Granted, the majority of these managers are in charge of teams with names like "Old Puckers", "Rusty Blades","Just the Tips" and "Nine-Inch Males," but don't be fooled; beer-league hockey squads can be down right tricky to put together. As with any successful organization, you need the right mix, and that means drafting from the following beer-league player categories: Which one are you???
The Ringer
Some teams wait until the playoffs to unveil this option. Others go withit right from the opening face-off. Either way, without a ringer, your team is done. The challenge for managers is convincing a good player to suitup for a bad side. This can be accomplished a number of ways, including promises of goal-scoring glory and awe-inspired teammates. Most effective, however, is let him play for free. It's simple math, really. Everyone else pays an extra $50 and everyone else gets a shot at the "DD" Division title.
The Young Guy
At first glance, he can easily be mistaken for a ringer, since the young guy still wears the shorts and socks of his junior or college team. But it's time for the next phase of life now, and that means an office job.The young guy stays in shape for the first half of the year. Sadly, an increasingly sedentary existence and late night partying catches up to him by Christmas. 15 to 20 pounds later, he's just another player, huffing and puffing with the rest. Welcome aboard, kid.
The Old Guy
Forget the 50-and-over league; that's not for him...even though his gloves reach up to his armpits, and he still uses a wood stick. To be fair, the old guy can be an effective player, especially if he's a wily old guy --a hook here and a chop there, because that's how they did it when professional athletes were real men. "Eddie Shore -- now there was a hockey player! Lost an ear against the Maroons. Sewed it back on himself. Never missed a shift."
The Tardy Goalie
Hey, thanks for showing up. Only five minutes gone in the first. Not like you play a crucial position or anything. Take your time, dickhead.
The Beginner
Required only for cheap laughs. On the one hand, you have to admire the beginner. It takes a lot of courage to buy all brand new equipment, and take up hockey in your 40's. On the other hand, learn to take a pass,man. It's right on your stick, for Christ's sake. How does that knock you over? And now you're friggin offside! Not to mention the Beginner shows up at every game, no matter what time or what day. Sunday night playoff game at 11PM - no worries, Mr Beginner will be there.
The Complete Psycho
Also good for a few giggles . . . from afar. Most likely a cop or fireman. The complete psycho is capable of anything: running the goalie, challenging an entire bench, a tomahawk chop -- all in the repertoire. Do not feed the complete psycho. He doesn't want to be fed. He wants to hunt. And, look to him to carry on his act in the bar after the game.
The Naked Guy
Bane of the dressing room. Most players have the courtesy to stretch their hamstrings while sporting, at the very least, a bit of underwear. Not the naked guy. He'll carry on full conversations, and you had better maintain eye contact like your life depended on it....or come face to face with the swinging sausage.
The Guy with the New Girlfriend
An excellent way to lower everyone else's fees is to load up on a few of these. The guy with the new girlfriend will show up to three games,tops, so his payment will contribute to everyone else's and it's not like you'll lose ice time by putting him on the roster. That said, beware that the guy with the new girlfriend might very well turn into the guy with the new wife...at which point he'll never miss another game.
The Organizer
This guy is absolutely brutal but since nobody else could be bothered to do all the paperwork and collect the money he gets to play. Is frustrating to play with because they can barely skate let alone take a pass but nobody gets mad at him cuz he's a really nice guy. Is often heard in the dressing room saying 'Sorry guys, that one was my fault'and if he's lucky somebody will chip in something like 'No worries Donny, it's a team effort.' What everybody is really thinking is 'Hey Donny, my grandmother is a better player than you and yes you are right,that was your fault.' If you are lucky the Organizer is usually smart enough to take himself off the ice in critical situations.
The Minor Hockey Allstar
Looks promising at a glance as they fool you with reasonably good skills but after you get zero passes you'll get the picture. This guy topped out at 'AA' Midget and can be spotted by the huge blinders attached to his helmet. Play is characterized by energetic rushes down the wing,(no passing), then into the corner (still no pass), behind the net (hey dickhead I've been open for the past 5 minutes),then into the next corner (everybody has gone back to the bench to watch) followed by a blind give away pass to the high slot / break out pass for the other team. Cut this guy.
The Johnny Try Hard
Great to have on your team but they suck to play against because theyhave somehow managed to keep themselves in ridiculously good shape.They were probably the star on their high school hockey team and won athlete of the year because they played hockey, volleyball and track allin the same year. Guaranteed they have a membership at the 'RunningRoom'. Play is characterized by constant hustle which if caught offguard can embarrass the more talented yet fatter player.
The Stanley Cup Champion
This player will raise their hands and cheer when they score. If this is an opposing player you must nip this behaviour in the bud by catching him off guard with a sickening open ice hit that causes him to blow snotbubbles. If this player is on your team quickly chastise him in front of the other team to let them know that this is not how the rest of your team rolls. Remind him how much of a loser he is by retrieving the puck from the net the next time he scores and presenting it to him in front of the other team.
The Tough Guy
This guy maxed out at the house-league level, has never been in a fight and is characterized by antagonizing behaviour on the ice. In extreme cases he will 'cheap shot' another player. The fact that your beer league does not allow fighting has given this guy a false sense of courage. What this guy does not realize is that this will not prevent someone from knocking his teeth out if he cheap shots the wrong guy. There is a number of fun ways to handle this player which all end with him lying on the ice bleeding, looking for his teeth and crying.
The Wrong Guy
Not to be confused with 'The Complete Psycho'. This guy shows up, doesn't say much and pretty much flies under the radar screen. The kid that gave him the cheap shot him will eventually look his name up on Hockey DB after his facial surgery and realize he had 355 pims in the East Coast 3 years ago.
The Gary Roberts
Can be described as being way too intense. This guy is one of your better players but is unable to adjust to the lower level of play. At the best of times he will try to coach players on the fly and at the worst of times he will snap and call his entire team a bunch of house-leaguers. He believes the game should be played a certain way and despises 'pond hockey' style play with no back checking or positional assignments. Most likely is suffering from a complex of 'unfinished business' from his previous hockey career and is looking to capture some shred of glory via the rec-league championship. This guy is probably better off playing with his own kind in a senior-A league.
Have a good weekend everyone, I'll be poolie grinding for the next 24 hours...
I love hockey, I love this time of year for all sports, but when hockey kicks off next week things will begin to get a bit crazy for my sports watching world. I signed up for Dave's hockey pool as well. I auto drafted because I couldn't attend last night.
The Canucks are undefeated in the preseason (6-0). If they win the next 99 straight games they will have achieved the unheard of... THE PERFECT SEASON...
yeah right eh...
Anyway, for all you hockey players out there... I am sure you can relate to some of these:
Some pure Canadiana hockey brilliance…
It's a well-known fact that there are only two seasons in Canada: summer and hockey.
According to long-standing tradition, the former starts with the hoisting of the Stanley Cup, as fans in an American city celebrate.The latter officially kicks off after Labour Day weekend. In fact, there are hundreds, possibly thousands, of managers across Canada who will spend the long weekend making personnel decisions in time for the September dawn of a new season. Granted, the majority of these managers are in charge of teams with names like "Old Puckers", "Rusty Blades","Just the Tips" and "Nine-Inch Males," but don't be fooled; beer-league hockey squads can be down right tricky to put together. As with any successful organization, you need the right mix, and that means drafting from the following beer-league player categories: Which one are you???
The Ringer
Some teams wait until the playoffs to unveil this option. Others go withit right from the opening face-off. Either way, without a ringer, your team is done. The challenge for managers is convincing a good player to suitup for a bad side. This can be accomplished a number of ways, including promises of goal-scoring glory and awe-inspired teammates. Most effective, however, is let him play for free. It's simple math, really. Everyone else pays an extra $50 and everyone else gets a shot at the "DD" Division title.
The Young Guy
At first glance, he can easily be mistaken for a ringer, since the young guy still wears the shorts and socks of his junior or college team. But it's time for the next phase of life now, and that means an office job.The young guy stays in shape for the first half of the year. Sadly, an increasingly sedentary existence and late night partying catches up to him by Christmas. 15 to 20 pounds later, he's just another player, huffing and puffing with the rest. Welcome aboard, kid.
The Old Guy
Forget the 50-and-over league; that's not for him...even though his gloves reach up to his armpits, and he still uses a wood stick. To be fair, the old guy can be an effective player, especially if he's a wily old guy --a hook here and a chop there, because that's how they did it when professional athletes were real men. "Eddie Shore -- now there was a hockey player! Lost an ear against the Maroons. Sewed it back on himself. Never missed a shift."
The Tardy Goalie
Hey, thanks for showing up. Only five minutes gone in the first. Not like you play a crucial position or anything. Take your time, dickhead.
The Beginner
Required only for cheap laughs. On the one hand, you have to admire the beginner. It takes a lot of courage to buy all brand new equipment, and take up hockey in your 40's. On the other hand, learn to take a pass,man. It's right on your stick, for Christ's sake. How does that knock you over? And now you're friggin offside! Not to mention the Beginner shows up at every game, no matter what time or what day. Sunday night playoff game at 11PM - no worries, Mr Beginner will be there.
The Complete Psycho
Also good for a few giggles . . . from afar. Most likely a cop or fireman. The complete psycho is capable of anything: running the goalie, challenging an entire bench, a tomahawk chop -- all in the repertoire. Do not feed the complete psycho. He doesn't want to be fed. He wants to hunt. And, look to him to carry on his act in the bar after the game.
The Naked Guy
Bane of the dressing room. Most players have the courtesy to stretch their hamstrings while sporting, at the very least, a bit of underwear. Not the naked guy. He'll carry on full conversations, and you had better maintain eye contact like your life depended on it....or come face to face with the swinging sausage.
The Guy with the New Girlfriend
An excellent way to lower everyone else's fees is to load up on a few of these. The guy with the new girlfriend will show up to three games,tops, so his payment will contribute to everyone else's and it's not like you'll lose ice time by putting him on the roster. That said, beware that the guy with the new girlfriend might very well turn into the guy with the new wife...at which point he'll never miss another game.
The Organizer
This guy is absolutely brutal but since nobody else could be bothered to do all the paperwork and collect the money he gets to play. Is frustrating to play with because they can barely skate let alone take a pass but nobody gets mad at him cuz he's a really nice guy. Is often heard in the dressing room saying 'Sorry guys, that one was my fault'and if he's lucky somebody will chip in something like 'No worries Donny, it's a team effort.' What everybody is really thinking is 'Hey Donny, my grandmother is a better player than you and yes you are right,that was your fault.' If you are lucky the Organizer is usually smart enough to take himself off the ice in critical situations.
The Minor Hockey Allstar
Looks promising at a glance as they fool you with reasonably good skills but after you get zero passes you'll get the picture. This guy topped out at 'AA' Midget and can be spotted by the huge blinders attached to his helmet. Play is characterized by energetic rushes down the wing,(no passing), then into the corner (still no pass), behind the net (hey dickhead I've been open for the past 5 minutes),then into the next corner (everybody has gone back to the bench to watch) followed by a blind give away pass to the high slot / break out pass for the other team. Cut this guy.
The Johnny Try Hard
Great to have on your team but they suck to play against because theyhave somehow managed to keep themselves in ridiculously good shape.They were probably the star on their high school hockey team and won athlete of the year because they played hockey, volleyball and track allin the same year. Guaranteed they have a membership at the 'RunningRoom'. Play is characterized by constant hustle which if caught offguard can embarrass the more talented yet fatter player.
The Stanley Cup Champion
This player will raise their hands and cheer when they score. If this is an opposing player you must nip this behaviour in the bud by catching him off guard with a sickening open ice hit that causes him to blow snotbubbles. If this player is on your team quickly chastise him in front of the other team to let them know that this is not how the rest of your team rolls. Remind him how much of a loser he is by retrieving the puck from the net the next time he scores and presenting it to him in front of the other team.
The Tough Guy
This guy maxed out at the house-league level, has never been in a fight and is characterized by antagonizing behaviour on the ice. In extreme cases he will 'cheap shot' another player. The fact that your beer league does not allow fighting has given this guy a false sense of courage. What this guy does not realize is that this will not prevent someone from knocking his teeth out if he cheap shots the wrong guy. There is a number of fun ways to handle this player which all end with him lying on the ice bleeding, looking for his teeth and crying.
The Wrong Guy
Not to be confused with 'The Complete Psycho'. This guy shows up, doesn't say much and pretty much flies under the radar screen. The kid that gave him the cheap shot him will eventually look his name up on Hockey DB after his facial surgery and realize he had 355 pims in the East Coast 3 years ago.
The Gary Roberts
Can be described as being way too intense. This guy is one of your better players but is unable to adjust to the lower level of play. At the best of times he will try to coach players on the fly and at the worst of times he will snap and call his entire team a bunch of house-leaguers. He believes the game should be played a certain way and despises 'pond hockey' style play with no back checking or positional assignments. Most likely is suffering from a complex of 'unfinished business' from his previous hockey career and is looking to capture some shred of glory via the rec-league championship. This guy is probably better off playing with his own kind in a senior-A league.
Have a good weekend everyone, I'll be poolie grinding for the next 24 hours...
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