Fucked Up Friday - The Apple Chucker Gang

When I was in grade 3 we used to always hang outside the school before the bell and chuck apple cores at big semi trucks passing by. We would try and hit the trailer portion of the truck. So every morning I would eat an apple on the way to school and save the core. We'd wait for the perfect moment and fire away. Then we would run for it.

It was only a matter of time before one of the apple chucker gang got caught, I just never thought it would be me.

Well one morning I decided I couldn't wait for a semi-truck to pass by and decided I would throw it at a smaller truck. Boom! I struck the back of a canopy style truck and then the driver slammed on the breaks. Oh shit! So I ran for it as I usually would but this time I decided to run and hide behind one of those hollowed out bushy type of trees up against the side of the school. The ones that have been there for years and years and kids have been using them as forts or hideouts.

So I snuck into one of those against the school and thought I had gotten away with it free and clear. I took a quick peak from behind the bush and sure enough this big burley man was coming straight for my bush. The other kids must have told on me because I was sure that I had ran fast enough to evade the unsuspecting driver.

A few seconds later the is a deep voice from outside the bush yelling "come out of there kid!" "you come out right now!!"

I was scared. In fact, I was very fucking scared. I thought this guy was going to kick my ass! I had no choice but to sulk my way out from behind my hiding spot and he immediately grabbed my arm with a firm grip and walked me straight to the principal's office.

On the way there, I felt this urge to take a pee. I really had to go. I told the grumpy old man the same. His response was "well too bad, you're going straight to the principal!"

So I did what every grade three boy would do when he really has to go and is very nervous. You know that feeling in your gut when you know you have done something wrong? I had that. I had it bad. So bad that I just let it go and peed my pants!

So there I was, waiting in the office for my mom to come and pick me up. I got it bad when I got home too. My mom's rule was always "twice as bad at home."

Boy did that one hurt. I think she might have broken two wooden spoons that night and my ass was on fire for two days.